Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Learning to see things in a new light


I have always hated the snow. I used to generally be a cold person most of my life, and so winter, I usually just stayed indoors. Even when I had my oldest child, I didn't enjoy being out in the snow. I would take her out for just a little bit, but be done pretty quickly.
As the years passed I would TRY and be out more when it snowed, but I still hated the cold. I would take the kids sledding, and have fun, but getting the motivation to go out was rough.
I've had some tragedies and bad times during the snowy winter months too. I remember when my father passed away 12 years ago, it was in January and it was so icy and cold that people were slipping all over at the cemetery, and the ground was too hard to bury him that day. I really viewed the snow and winter as a curse. Every time it snowed I thought of my father and his death. And I really just dreaded the time of year.
2 years ago my little brother passed (again in January) in winter. I remember how cold and dreary outside it was. We were afraid we wouldn't make it to his funeral, because it was a long drive and it was snowing a lot that day. Again, the snow - another symbol of death and sadness in my life.
But a strange thing happened. We had been going to our wonderful church for a couple years at this time and I had been learning to pray. I was going to ask God to help me be positive, and to make winter happy for me. I had decided that I was going to turn things around. I couldn't take the dread and sadness connected with the snow anymore. I was going to make the best of winter. I was going to go play with the kids, have snowball fights, laugh and then come in to the warmth. The first winter I did it! With God's help, I overcame this mindset and really made the best of my winter. In fact, we had the best winter we had in a long time! And last winter it snowed A LOT here. Hours upon hours of shoveling. Followed by snowball fights, sledding and hot chocolate.
This year as I was out in the snow, shoveling, I realized something. I no longer dread the snow! In fact, I sort of LIKE it! I enjoy shoveling. I enjoy seeing my kids delight in it's cold fluffiness. Building snowmen, snowball fights, and their beautiful laughter. And I see the beauty in the Lord's works now. I don't really think I would WANT to live somewhere where it never snowed.
Thank you Lord for giving me the opportunity to turn these sad memories into happy ones. Thank you for holding my hand through tough times, and giving me hope. Please help anyone else out there who is going through a tragedy of their own. Maybe perhaps winter brings sorrow to someone else as well. Help anyone who is reading this see the magic and beauty in your cold, white fluffy snow. Amen.

2 comments:

  1. This is so lovely. So well written and thoughtful. I also associate winter with sadness, hardship and I despise the cold. Perhaps I will try to change my relationship with the cold and get outside with my little ones today. Thank you!

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  2. Wonderful post!

    I have to tell you, I grew up in central Louisiana and then lived for years in Houston, Tx area. I had never seen *real* snow until we moved to Amarillo, Tx (way up in the Panhandle, close to Colorado) 4.5 years ago. My husband picks at me and says I'm worse than a kid in winter waiting for snow! My favorite time is when it's snowing in the middle of the night and it is so bright, quiet and peaceful while the snow is falling...all seems right in the world at that time.

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