My husband and I have been going through a rough patch. Work for him has been very stressful. I have been busier than usual (with kid activities, teaching and working part time). It seems that just when we THINK we've had enough, we get more stressful situations that arise. I haven't been able to communicate with my husband much over the past couple of weeks while he is at work. I was starting to feel lonely. And the more I felt lonely, the more "down" I would feel. The more down I felt, the less housework I did. The less housework I did, the more stress I felt and the less I tolerated the kids. You get the picture. Well, when the plans my husband and I had to reconnect, one weekend, fell through I felt so sad and hopeless that I was just about to POP. And so I called him and vented about it. Not what he needed to hear, and added more stress for him.
I have been praying these past two weeks. I have prayed for the STRENGTH to get through this. The STRENGTH to help him, and to SHOW ME what I needed to do to help him. And that I would follow any instructions God gave me on what to do. God is great. He ALWAYS - WITHOUT FAIL comes through for me!
Yesterday I got 2 articles that made me go "hhmm". I wasn't sure (at first) to make of them. But, funny enough, I was doing the dishes in the afternoon, and the sum of the two article HIT ME. Just like that. The Holy Spirit whispering in my ear.
The first article I got was from this Proverbs 31 marriage course I have been taking online (it's by women of faith - check them out!! - the button for the course is on the right hand side of my blog). It said for me to read the book of Ruth. Ruth's loyalty to her husband, her mother in law and her family. Ruth was a strong women who, when hard times came, did not leave the side of her mother in law (after her husband passed away). She had a strong devotion to her husband and to God. She was going to do what it took to take care of her family.
The second article I read was about a woman's grandmother. The story was about her grandmother's rocking chair that she had in her living room. That her grandmother had been through many trials in her lifetime. And that she taught her grand daughter so much about life. She said that her grandmother would tell her that in times of trials, to clean the house and cook for the family. She said that sometimes she would sit in her grandmother's rocking chair and sing her grandmother's favorite hymns. I wondered "what is God trying to say to me?" I know these were stories of 2 strong women. But how does that apply to my situation?
So, I decided to start my cleaning early yesterday, before I had to take my youngest to his Mommy and me class. And as I'm doing the dishes it hits me. I need to be strong for my husband. Not only do I need to be strong, I need to CARRY HIM right now! I need to understand that 1. he loves me, even though he feels spent and doesn't have much left to give at the end of the day (we as mothers ALL know how it feels. Sometimes we say we are "over touched", or we are so tired from our day that we have nothing left to give). God was telling me that a strong wife SOMETIMES needs to support her husband. How? Well, by keeping the house clean. By cooking foods that he enjoys for dinner and lunches. By making the home a relaxing atmosphere for when he returns home in the evenings. By making sure the kids are happy. And by picking up extra chores (that are his) for him. I made sure the trash was taken out last night and that I washed a couple comforters he had been asking me to wash. Today I plan on getting more candles and lighting them all over the house for a soothing, calm atmosphere. The kids homework will be done. The house will be clean. Kids bathed. Dinner out on the table. And lastly, one thing we can really do is to let them know that we are thinking about them, we are grateful for them AND we are missing the. Whether in an email, a letter stuffed in their work bag, a text message on their cell phone OR a phone call. They need to know that we are so thankful for all they do for their family. We are such an important part of the family unit as women. I really believe (if we are doing our jobs correctly) that we are the glue that binds and mends our family. And sometimes it is up to us to carry the weight of the family for a little bit, until our husband can get back on their feet (emotionally). Thank you God for giving me the message of STRENGTH that I needed and asked for. God is truly amazing! Peace!